Dating Across Party Lines with CNN

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• published: 08 Apr 2014
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Selective Search Founder & President Barbie Adler discusses dating across party lines with CNN. Speaker 1: The election is over, it's time to get on with the rest of our lives and that includes dating, right? So, he's smart, funny, she's charming, successful. What if he's a Democrat, and she's a Republican? James Carville and Mary Matalin, they make it work, so why can't anybody else? Joining me to discuss the new era of bipartisan dating is Barbie Adler, President in the matchmaking service, Selective Search. Barbie, is it possible to find love across party lines, or there are no possibilities of compromise? Barbie: It really depends on how politically active you are. For some, they will not cross the party line, and for others you could agree to disagree. It really comes down to your core values and your beliefs. For some you are preconditioned into what your belief system is and will be a deal breaker and there is no way that you would ever consider going red or going blue. Speaker 1: It's interesting because everybody says, well, opposites attract, but every now and again, opposites also get on each other's nerves and drive each other apart, right? Barbie: Opposites attract for the short term, but long term compatibility, the more you have in common with your mate, the more chances that you are going to have a long lasting happy relationship and marriage. Speaker 1: You are a very selective matchmaker, this past election was fierce. What kind of political requests would you see? Were people actually saying, you know, single female Democrat looking for a Republican male? Barbie: People come to Selective Search because they are looking to find something very special, they're selective. We treat someone's political request the same way we deal with any other search criteria. It was a very fiery election, this year more than ever. What we do is make sure that we honor people's requests, we respect it, and we work the whole entire search around it and everything is customized. People come to us because they are looking to find the love of their life and not just a date. Speaker 1: For example, how can it work? What are the two things ... If you are going to set up a Democrat with a Republican, or a Republican with a Democrat, do you just avoid political conversations? Barbie: Sure. What I would recommend is first you have to listen to each other, communicate, and have respect, and ask questions. I disagree with avoiding it. I think sometimes some people have more in common than they realize, and if they don't, then it's more important to talk about it before you are investing time into the relationship but also have a sense of humor. Sometimes stimulating conversation is the key to a happy marriage. That could also lead into the bedroom and romance. Make it fun, make bets and talk about it, or agree that you are not going to talk about it all the time. The other thing is if you have nothing else to fight about, it could be that one thing. That's what really works for Mary and James in their relationship, is they don't really have any other things to fight about, that's the one thing. They are also having fun being at odds with each other. [crosstalk 02:54]. Speaker 1: Publicly, publicly they don't have anything else to fight about. If a Democrat marriage or a Republican, what you're looking there with James Carville and Mary Matalin, those are two people who've cancelled out one another's vote when election time came. Barbie: Absolutely, absolutely. I think what's most important is really just having a sense of humor about it if you are already married to someone, and really just like anything else, communicating, listening and agreeing to disagree. If you are not married, it's really making sure that you want to understand what's important to you and honoring that so that you could really have a long lasting relationship. Speaker 1: Also bottom line is respecting the other person's opinion. All right Barbie Adler, thank you so much, we appreciate your joining us today. Barbie: Thanks for having me. Speaker 1: Learning does not have to take place in a classroom. More students are studying online, and that's creating a learning revolution.